How? By choosing to ask our critic to step to the side and instead turn to our most compassionate selves to continue the work.Īnother common barrier to exploring past trauma is not being curious enough about your childhood/past experience. When we develop the ability to see when and how our inner-critic interrupts self-exploration, we can then create an opening to respond differently. So, it can be helpful to ask ourselves what am I most afraid of others thinking if I were to acknowledge parts of my experience as trauma? What am I afraid it would say about me? That I’m dramatic, “too much”, self-obsessed, ungrateful, weak, insensitive to others, etc. Our inner-critics are born out of the need to protect ourselves, which can be counter-intuitive. It’s important to note that this limiting narrative is often the work of our inner-critic, who may or may not be so obvious to you. If we aren’t able to fully understand the impact of our experiences, then we aren’t able to begin the process of true healing because we aren’t working on the deeper level at which these wounds first developed. This narrative that “my story isn’t severe enough to qualify as trauma” has become one of the biggest barriers to deepening therapeutic growth. Many of my clients are quick to dismiss the significance of stressful life events that they’ve experienced by comparing themselves to others “less fortunate” or “who have had it worse.” There seems to be a fear that by seeing their past wounds as trauma they are somehow belittling the hardships of others who more accurately fit the societal definition we have of trauma- which as we now know, is outdated. With this new definition in mind, we can better understand how we all may have experienced trauma that’s gone unrecognized. In Peter Levine’s book Healing Trauma he asserts that “trauma is trauma, no matter what caused it.” He goes on to explain that “in order for us to fully understand this, we need to hone in on the fact that people can be traumatized by any event they perceive (consciously or unconsciously) to be life-threatening.” So what matters most when defining trauma? The perception of threat and the incapacity to deal with it.

In fact, we’re actually finding that it isn’t the severity of a traumatic event that matters most, but the individual’s perception (consciously or unconsciously) of the severity. However, as the research continues to roll in, more findings are showing that trauma does not have to stem from a major catastrophe. Not long ago, common belief was that PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and other responses to trauma were something experienced by only those who’ve gone through the most horrendous life events imaginable- think combat, natural disasters, life-threatening accidents, and other forms of severe violent personal assault. Our understanding of trauma and its impact continues to deepen as our definition of trauma continues to expand.

Trauma definition